Top Tweets (Click HERE to follow Kollin on twitter):
- Not recommended: Jumping in a pile of leaves at the dog park.
- If I could have a super power, it would be to magically shoot the garbage people litter straight up their ass.
- The 1990’s called. They asked what it’s like to be poor, laughed, then hung up.
- If I had a kid who pretended to be hard saying things like, “you feel me blood?” It would be really hard to love them.
- I try not to get any big ideas, because I’m afraid of being crushed by a giant light bulb.
Very excited! Performed at the Noise Pop 20th St Block Party yesterday.
Aug. 28th-30th - See me in Humboldt at the Savage Henry Comedy Festival. I have shows all three days. You should click here to check their website for the schedule.
Sept. 2nd-9th - LA! I have a few shows, and a few places I’ll be visiting. I will post those later!
Sept. 14th - I’ll be performing in Golden Gate Park on the 35th Annual Comedy Day. Show starts at noon, and it’s totally free. The full roster of comedians, sponsors etc., can be found on their website here.
Sept. 17th - Hosting for Scott Capurro at the S.F. Eagle. Time TBD.
Gettin’ Weird hosts the Bay Area’s favorite comedians with an added twist every month. Sometimes it’s a performer, sometimes it’s something people have to do, but it’s always weird and always entertaining.
Tony Sparks is “The Godfather” of the San Francisco comedy scene. He has hosted the longest running open mic in the Bay Area at the Brainwash Cafe every Thursday for the past fourteen years.
Jules Posner is like if the cool older kid who used to buy you beer ended up becoming a comedian instead of a meth dealer. The most relaxed man in California, Jules mixes laid-back observations, riffing and flannel shirts into an act that has won him constant bookings at every major comedy club in the Bay Area.
Named SF Weekly Best of Award Winner for “Racial Humor You Don’t Feel Guilty Laughing At” and one of the Bay Area’s “Top 5 Comedians to Watch” by the San Jose Mercury News, Kaseem Bentley is an African American insult comic from San Francisco.
Chris Schiappacasse is definitively offensive, and at times insensitive. His brand of comedy can invite confrontation and challenge audiences to stretch their tolerance, which will be tested by a man who does not back down. Unapologetic and brazen, Chris is certainly bringing the weird this month.
Top Ten Tweets From May
10.) To the lady with her hoodie up: nice hair.
9.) No, please. You’re really treading new ground with your Taco Bell+volcano ass material.
8.) Today on my twitter feed: 10 Reasons Why #ListsAreTheWorst
7.) My mom always tells me, “you’re my retirement plan,” and I’m like, “expect to be homeless in ten years!”
6.) Tell someone to stop talking when their story’s boring. It makes them feel great.
5.) Lady complimented me, & instead of talking to her I walked away faster thinking, “I’d rather talk to myself.” & realized I might be crazy.
4.) I get bloody noses a lot. Someone asked what some spatter stains on my pants were. Shoulda realized how scary only saying “blood” would be.
3.) Putting the free bread in your to-go box might be tacky, but you know what’s tackier? Thinking you’re above free bread.
2.) I put my foot in my mouth. A girl I carried asked, “Am I as heavy as I look?” and all I said was, “No… I mean, you don’t look that heavy.”
1.) Allergies: For when you want none of the party, but all of the morning hangover.
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